we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
how does that bad decision feel?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
