I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
