I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
