i think my tv is drunk
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
