Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
