yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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