She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
