There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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