get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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