we have pet lesbian snakes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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