Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
