IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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