I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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