just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
