please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
