when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
