Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
