I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
