I want to stick my p in your. b.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
