Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
