I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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