I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
