We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
