we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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