We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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