He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
