OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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