Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
