i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize