you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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