I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
