Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just threw up on my dentist
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
