you would pick up someone in the library
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
