loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
