Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
