Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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