Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
