Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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