Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
