we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
