I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
