he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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