# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
