where am i from again
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize