he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
birth control should be required to get into college
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
