Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize