I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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