She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
