Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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