Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
