He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
