please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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