You're so nebulous sometimes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
