I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize