Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
