you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
