He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize