So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
