I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
