Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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