i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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