Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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