did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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