He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize